Khala Zaitoona___________________________________________
 

                          

                        
      
       If you are worried about something,
share it with yO’s agony aunt, Khala Zaitoona
          — she’ll soon have you sorted!
               khalazaitoona@yahoo.com

Khala Zaitoona replies ...

Q1: Dear kz,
My sister and I have always been close until now. We enjoyed going out together to the shopping mall and meeting others. We also used to discuss our homework and being three years older than myself she was able to help and guide me.
Now she has a new friend, and spends all her time with her. I feel she has let me down. Having a friend is fine but why cut out your own sister? We have supported each other a lot over the years, and I miss her desperately. I do not want to be bitter. What can I do? Should I talk to my parents about it or talk first to my sister ?
                                                                                                                                   — Miriam

A1: Dear Miriam,
It is a good idea to talk to your sister. She may not even realise that she has hurt you. She is probably only thinking of her new friend and does not realise she has hurt you. There is an old saying ‘people often take family for granted’.
Why not tell your sister how important she is to you and that you want to be part of her life. It is important that you speak lovingly and do not accuse her of abandoning you and try not to be jealous of her new friend. In fact you should welcome her new friend and make her feel at home. This will create good feelings all around.
You may also want to think about finding a friend your age to fill the gap. You may end up being happier in the long run — with a friend of your own and your sister will always be your sister. Take care.
                                                                                                                                    — KZ

Q2: Dear KZ,
I am not looking forward to the summer. We are a large family and my brothers and sisters all love swimming or playing sports.
I am overweight and find joining in difficult. I know there is one obvious answer; go on a diet. I am trying this but I cannot lose enough weight in time for summer.
What should I do?
                                                                                                                                   — Ghada

A2: Dear Ghada,
To lose weight it is necessary to eat less and exercise more — but you should do this under the care of a physician. Many people go on extreme diets and then gain the weight back right away.
It is not a good idea to lose weight in time for summer — weight loss should be at a slow and healthy pace. As your doctor will tell you it is important to have a balanced diet and to make eating moderately and exercising regularly a life style.
It is a good idea to tackle the problem of weight now while you are still young as just imagine what it will be like if you keep putting on weight throughout life.
You will be surprised how much better you will feel when you embark on a healthier lifestyle.
Best wishes.
                                                                                                                                    — KZ

Q3: Dear KZ,
I used to be good at my school work, but recently my marks have dropped dramatically in all my subjects, and I find it much harder to concentrate. My teachers tell me I can do a lot better, and should work harder.
But I do try my best already. It is just that I cannot seem to concentrate on my homework anymore. What shall I do?
                                                                                                                                    — ALI

A3: Dear Ali,
First ask yourself why you cannot concentrate these days. What has happened in your life that might be causing this? Has the environment in which you study changed? Have you simply grown lazy? Are you really trying? It is important to be disciplined and apply yourself.
Did you know that it is important to take short breaks at least every twenty minutes while studying in order to give your brain a rest? Try this technique choosing a quiet place to study where there are no distractions.
Also talk to your teachers as well as your parents about this problem. They may be able to help you.
                                                                                                                                    — KZ

Q3: Dear KZ,
My mother died when I was very young and the past few years my sister and I were looked after by someone who was employed to look after us. My father could afford this, and we were able to continue with our lives well enough.
Now, four years later, my father has decided to marry again, but my sister and I are finding this difficult to accept.
What can we do?
                                                                                                                                    — Heba

A3: Dear Heba,
Your feelings are understandable in the circumstances since you clearly loved your mother very much.
Four years may seem like a short time to you, but your father has waited quite a while to find love and companionship again. Your father needs your support.
Chances are he has chosen someone who will try to be a good mother to you. It is important to think positively and to welcome this new situation. Think of being considerate to your father and kind to his fiancé. It may well be that you will have a much happier life.
I will be thinking of you and your sister.
                                                                                                                                    — KZ

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